You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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