I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
