I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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