similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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