Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
