i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
