Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
