David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
