you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
