These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
