i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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