doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
