That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
