thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
