WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
