It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We have started to decorate penises.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
