i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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