It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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