I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
