covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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