you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
