Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
