four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
