lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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