I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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