I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
