do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
