i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
