I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
