Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
