i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
