I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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