Tell her she can't have a vagina
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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