wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
