my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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