No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
