Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
