I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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