I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
