She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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