I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
