i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
