Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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