hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
