I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
