If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
