My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
