I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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