I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
