So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my being single is dangerous.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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